Saturday, March 3, 2012

I'm addicted and I just can't get enough...

Isla Fisher in Confessions of the Shopoholic

Do you feel like you are addicted to J.Crew? It may not be something that would make you raid your children's college fund, but do you check the J.Crew website every day? Do you know the merchandise better than Sales Associates? Are you in the constant cycle of buy/regret/return? Do you shuffle money around to pay for your purchases? Are you hiding boxes? Do you downplay the number of pencil skirts you own? Are you always on the quest for this one last item before your wardrobe feels complete?  Are you putting yourself on shopping bans? Do you plan your outfits obsessively? Do you stalk popbacks in the wee hours of the morning?

Did you answer yes to some of the questions?  Half of the questions? All of them??

Welcome to the club. You are not alone. I can answer yes to most. I think the only thing listed that I never did was the early morning stalking of popbacks. Mostly because by the time something I've been coveting is sold out and only showing up occasionally at 5 AM, I have already bought it.

I  consider myself a reasonable and rational person. I never had any major debt, except mortgage. I make fun of commercials and I never go shopping on Black Friday. Why would I be a crewlade drinker?

Everybody has different triggers.

One is being bored or unfulfilled. Of course, I have a husband and two kids, a house to take care of and a demanding job. But I feel like there is this creative part of me that is not fully utilized.  Planning the perfect wardrobe and putting together outfits gives me an opportunity to explore my creative side.

I am obsessive/compulsive, perfectionist, a-type personality.  I tend to over-research and overdo whatever I am getting myself into. So of course I would tend to overdo perfecting my wardrobe as well. And I am very good at shopping.

Last, but not the least, there is a midlife crisis. This feeling that those are my last years to feel attractive.  I feel like I missed out in my twenties or thirties because I was focused on other things. And now that I can afford to buy I have to hurry up, because soon I will be invisible anyway.

But why J. Crew?

I think J.Crew has tapped into certain overachieving sensibility very well. Mostly, well educated customers that like fashion but cannot afford designer duds. After all, they started with college campus prepsters. J.Crew is selling them a dream of lifestyle. Dropping names (from the famous mill), suggesting exclusivity (only few copies were made), appeal to compulsive and competetive nature and justifying it as something cool (we are obsessed). 

I also think many J.Crew customers care about their looks but don't want to look like they try to hard. They are, in many cases, tomboys turned fashionistas or suddenly popular self described geeks. J.Crew appeals to us by waving 'classic with the twist' or 'boy meets girl' flag. These customers don't want to shop everywhere. They want to be done with shopping in one shot. They have already researched everything. And they are pretty faithful. They are the 'sturdy gals', at heart.

Then, there are sales. J.Crew plays with our desire to get high fashion for less. To outsmart the system.  When you get few things at rock bottom prices you are more willing to pay full price for the other ones because: 
  1. You feel you already saved some dough (since you forgot already that the sale price was the only price you were willing to pay, not so long ago) 
  2. You already got over the shock of higher prices and they seem more of a norm now.
Also, only handful of other stores I know (I am thinking Anthropologie and Boden in UK), can boast a comparable online community to compare notes, share your scores and lust after items others have purchased.  How many of your friends get the excitement of scoring the coveted pencil skirt? Sometimes, I catch myself talking to a friend and thinking I have something very exciting to share, only to realize that what makes me so giddy is my recent sale score. Even if we could afford Neiman Marcus, who will be there for us to validate it and cheer us on? Who wants to go solo to a fantastic location?

I have been shopping less recently, but I am still not where I want to be. I hardly bought anything in couple of months, but in the last few days and placed couple of orders with J.Crew and one with Brora. I will most likely return majority of it (I am a serial returner), leaving only the leopard Valentinas and Brora cashmere sweater. They were in my budget and on my shopping list. OK, not the Brora sweater but I do not have any red cashmere v-necks, and it is a classic and great quality and it dropped to the J.Crew price (OK, J.Crew full price that I never pay)... See, this is how my mind works, always rationalizing....

Unfortunately, I do not have any 12 step program to recommend. I can analyze my behavior, we all can, but that doesn't necessarily make us any better at dealing with it. Project 333 and having this blog was something that helped me a lot. Not because they include some kind of magic pill, but mostly because they provided me with alternative obsession. And I am a single-tasker.
I wouldn't wanna have it any other way...
I don't want to deny myself something that makes me happy. I agree with the general premise of wonderful book 'The Thoughtful Dresser', making the case that the need to look pretty is a primal human need, existing in any culture known to man (or woman!). I have reconciled myself with the fact that it also cost money and takes time.

There was a time when I was obsessed with gardening. I would import exotic plants from overseas and tend to them 24/7 since they did not want to grow in New Jersey.  I have since switched to pleasant looking low maintenance landscaping. I had a period in my life that I was all about home decorating. I still care how my house looks (read about it HERE), but I feel like I am  'done' with it, for most part. I don't obsess any more. 

This is the place where I want to be.  I am just trying to find the right balance.
Nobody said it was easy...
***

What do you think? What are your triggers? Please ramble on...  

Whether you never commented before, or comment frequently (thank you!!!), I love to hear from all of you.

I hope I did not offend anyone by my speculations

Do you have the Black Eyed Peas song stucked in your head now?  
          

68 comments:

  1. This is so brilliantly written ajc.
    I wish I was more concerned with clothes and putting outfits together, and my appearance in general. I have two very distinct sides, if I'm going out at night to a do then I'll glam it up to the point of transvestitism - heels, big hair, skintight dress but the other me is such a slob and just doesn't care about what people "THEM" think of me but I take it the point of utter slobbery, I'll wear my gym gear non stop for a week, leave my hair unwashed, I think it's because I live in my head a lot.
    Hubs often says " Can you get dressed today?" I suppose it also down to the fact that I don't mix with anyone during the week, so no one ever says, you look great or where did you get that ..........oh I'm on a right ramble now, ajc!

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    1. Thank you Tabitha, I think you are who I want to be, my 'glamorous tomboy' fantasy. I love your self deprecating humor, this is so British of you isn't it?

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  2. Oh and I think you made an excellent point about the cliquey clubbiness of J Crew, I think it does drive people to buy more than they really need and I'll put my hand up and say I like being part of the club even though I'm a bit to far away to really belong, there is a comfort gained from belonging to a group, in the olden days it was Church for community now it's J Crew!

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  3. This is a great post! I go through peaks and valleys with JCrew myself...One thing that interests me about the JCrew Community is that there are groups within the group and it is so interesting to see - the 20 somethings who are just starting out and who can get away with the things that I wish I could still wear, the 30 something mums who are struggling with everything on their plates and they want and deserve a little fashion in their lives so they don't end up as schlumpadinkas and then the next group i would say I am in, the 40 and 50 somethings, who are full throttle in their careers, whatever those careers are, and wish to continue to have relavent style and not move over into the "I give up" category but still only want to spend big bucks on event dressing.

    The online community has been helpful to me in bringing my own style up a knotch, but it also costs me, as I see something on someone and think "I NEED that!" Now I do the one week rule. I put it in the shopping cart and if I keep coming back to it, I buy it. I have also made mistake because of aspirational dressing. I buy clothes for events/places I am not really going to go to or clothes that I love but don't feel comfortable pulling off in real life. That is the curse of JCrew and and I am trying to get better about that!

    But I definitely spend more than I used to and I do not know if that is my age (almost 50) or from being part of the JCrew community? I also cannot stand too much "noise" in my closet, so I try to move things out more. But I stil think I have too much. This is great food for thought, as my online shopping cart is WAY too full right now!

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    1. WMM, I find it fascinating that it does span across all the age groups, I think you got the 40 and 50 somethings to the tee, I am there with you.
      And yes, I was spending more than I am comfortable with and I hate having too much. For some reason I am not sucked into aspirational dressing, but I end up overdosing on basics just the same.

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  4. Oh my goodness...you constantly "wow" me with your posts. This one spoke to me on so many levels. I also have a bit of an addiction to JCrew, but wasn't sure exactly why. Your reasoning EXACTLY describes me...I do have a type A, slightly compulsive/addictive personality. I have a strong need to be creative-I was a first grade teacher and then when I became a stay-at-home mom I spent many years decorating(and re-decorating) my house. Once I had my fourth (and last) child and retained my figure, I went kind of crazy rebuilding my wardrobe...most of it with JCrew. So many things that you mentioned were very accurate. I have to ask...are you a professional writer? This post is magazine/newpaper column worthy. I enjoy your blog so very much. Thank you for tackling so many interesting topics and for being so HONEST!! I, like you, have been really trying to show some restraint lately. I've been doing much better lately and try to focus on items that will fill a void in my wardrobe rather than an impulse buy. I am such a buy/remorse/return shopper!! I have to admit that it may be because I am once again focused on my house and that is fulfilling my need for creativity at the moment. Thank you for helping me see that I'm not crazy and that there are others like me out there!! I may have to show my husband this post!!

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    1. Lisa, thank you for the compliments. I am a Business Analyst (how boring is that) but I did major in comparative literature. English is not my native language, so I switched gears when I came to US.

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  5. Oh BOY..you are me , I am YoU? I don't know but I'm so happy and excited to read that in print!
    (i love that someone else is a serial returner- whew relief!) Type A personality, I shop, teach, am a mom of two beautifully dressed kiddies lol (love crew-cuts)
    I loved your post.. I agree with Lisa above- your writing hits home send it in to a magazine..
    I have to ramble a bit more and tell you since blogging has become my new addiction I have shopped less- UNTIL this week, I went wild..Jcrew TB, Anthro! Maybe its the spring clothes?
    My mid-life crisis? Anyway so happy to have stopped by, Have you been on Pinterest? lol?

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    1. I am glad there are other serial returners out there, there were times when I returned the same items three times, mostly to get a better price, I cannot stand paying $5 more. I have recently restrained from it and told myself I will not do it if it is not more than $20, but I have exchanged my PK lipstick because it was $4 less with the 20% off one day after I placed the order. I go to the store anyway so it seems easier than calling to get the price adjustment and getting the 'one time curtesy'.
      And the kids clothes, I went through that phase too!

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  6. What a fantastic post ajc! I am in the Club, and I believe we have the same triggers. My 20's and 30's were spent being a Mom (during my early motherhood years I had an obsessive gardening phase), a Single Mom (back to University phase), then married again and a Mom again, nesting our home (house-decorating phase). When I turned 40 (mid-life crisis!) I decided I would once and for all have the wardrobe I always wanted. I am happy that the obsessiveness is wearing off now. I have my clothes in categories (almost groups of 33 actually!) but my categories are seasonal color stories. My regular closet looks almost sparse but my storage closet has these ranges of clothes organized by color and season: Summer Navy, Summer Coral, Summer Black and White, Fall Camel/Red, Fall Black/Violet, and then there are my winter things which are mostly Brora and are currently in my regular closet, which LOOKS like one of a sane person, LOL.
    This is a hugely fun hobby for me and I am not giving it up. I am definitely an aspirational dresser and yes JCrew taps into that, but I've decided to embrace that as fun, a harmless aspect of my personality.
    I've tried to get away from buying JCrew but I just don't love the look of other lines that I can afford. I mean, I love Dior's fall line but I can't afford any of it, but I can find similar colors at JCrew (violet, fuschia, peony) and pair them with black coats and opaque tights and try to achieve a little of the "the look", even in my own mind.
    I was shopping on Thursday at Holt Renfrew, our Nordstrom's, and I couldn't find a single thing I wanted to buy. The designer stuff wasn't made any better than the JCrew items I've bought this year: poly linings, made in China, and I just didn't like it as well. I guess I am "Branded" JCrew, but it does save me the time and energy of searching through other labels.
    I tried to branch out into Tory Burch by investing in some of their Chanel-look suiting, but it arrived all mangled, actually ripped, with loose threads, worse quality control than JCrew at 3X the price.
    So I guess I'll stick with JCrew, I know it won't break my bank, I love the community, and I love my clothes. They've got me.
    Again thanks for this well-written post. :)

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    1. Dani: When I saw the recent "What's your colour story?" email from J Crew my first thought was that they had ripped you off!

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    2. I have to agree with you Dani - I have tried Talbots and others, but I do not find the fit "modern" if you know what I mean and they mostly languish in my closet. My JCrew gets worn again and again. Plus, I love colour, and no one does colour like JCrew except for the high end designers, IMO. And thanks to great blogs, I typically can avoid costly mistakes!

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    3. Dani, you own the color story, no question asked. You have been the first blogger that made me say, 'OMG, I do the same, this is how I think, yes!' It is eerie sometimes how many things we have in common, we have talked about it before but there is always more and more, you are my long lost sister I think :)
      I have the same experience with many other brands, the quality is not necessarily any better, even if you shelling out big bucks.

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  7. Such well written post, ajc! I think you're dead-on with so many of these traits of us within the J. Crew community. I'm in my mid-twenties and just finished graduate school. When I finished my undergrad three years ago, I was in MEGA need of a closet overhaul! Although I had saved some money towards a closet overhaul (because I knew jeans and campus hoodies weren't going to get me far) I ended up picking J. Crew for a lot of my inspiration. I had always loved looking at their gorgeous colors and beautiful patterns so that's how I started my rebuilding. And then coming across the J. Crew community - via the Mothership - gave me a sense of community I was looking for, since I find most of my friends are not very fashion forward (haha, or perhaps, just not obsessive-compulsive??? haha). I'm so glad you posted this because it's nice to know we're not alone in this obsession and that it is common over a large age-range (20s-50s). Maybe if I stopped blogging I'd be a little less obsessed - but what fun would that be?! haha

    Tasia

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    1. Tasia, thank you! I was doing a closet overhaul too when I came across JCA community and my life has never been the same ever since. I went through buying more and more but then slowing down and learning to enjoy this community despite the temptation it creates. In that sense I don't regret at all the money and time that I spent because in the end I feel like it enriched my life more than it cause problems. I am learning to manage my OCD and here we have the support group where you can say, yes I am a bit obsessed but I am not crazy and others understand what you are talking about. it is a gift.

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  8. I agree with everyone else, ajc, this is a FANTASTIC post!!! I'm constantly thinking about how much I spend on J. Crew clothing. And, your post really highlights many of the things I've thought about. The questions you pose at the beginning of the post are spot on. Like Teaching Fashionista, I teach, read, write, love my husband, and shop, shop, shop!!! Thanks SO much for this post. It's really thought provoking and very well written.

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    1. hi rynetta, I think about it too. It is so good to realize we are not alone.

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  9. i also agree with everybody else,your post is very well written and spot on.
    i am a perfectionist and i like my wardrobe to be perfect too,so i am always obsessing about "the perfect next thing" to buy.
    good post ajc!

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  10. Great post AJC. I am completely saturated in the Club. I would say 75% of my closet is J Crew. I do know more than my Personal Shopper and store SAs. I think I scare them sometimes with how much I know that they don't but I chalk that up to the JCA blog and the community.

    I didn't own a single pair of JC Shoes until last year and now I have too many to say out loud (ok...12 pairs). I have paired down quite a bit this year and have only bought what I have really wanted and returned a lot more that were impulse buys or looked great on, in the dressing room. I don't think I've placed an online order but once this year. For me, that is an amazing step back from last year. I had deliveries every week in November and December! Sometimes for days in a row.

    As far as triggers, I just want to look nice, even if I want to be casual. I also know my sizing in JC (vanity sizing too) and haven't found a pencil skirt that fits me like J Crew's do.

    I'm not ready to do Project 333 but admire you and Slastena for taking it on. Again, great post. Thanks for writing it.

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    1. audreybella, you are so right about the pencil skirts, with all the comparisons and great brands out there, nothing fits me like J.Crew. And if you compare with designer brands we are actually getting a good deal on J.Crew!

      I also always liked other shoe brands better, but then they came up with Valentinas!!!

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  11. Brilliant post and spot on in my case as well. I have loved J Crew for years back in the rolled neck sweater days. They have always had such great colors and it's true--classics with a twist. I needed to bring my work wardrobe up a notch a few years ago and J Crew has been my go-to. I hardly shop anywhere else. I love fashion and love to shop but don't have a lot of time so it helps in that respect as well. The JC blog community is fantastic and your blog is such a welcome addition, ajc. And I really don't need another pencil skirt, but red eyelet sure is cute...

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    1. red eyelet, lol
      and the colors yes. OK we have to admit that it is not all the power of crewlade. there are some things that j.crew does very well and it is worth the money.

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  12. lol Tabs you give me too much credit, not my invention, though it is a good way for me to organize my masses of JCrew stuff!
    And btw, my 9yo is also in the Club, she just came in here so I could help her zipper up her "apple dress" from CrewCuts Fall 2011, her closet is almost all crewcuts. uh-oh!

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    1. My 9yo is self admitted fashionista, I am not sure if this is very healthy at this age, I was a total tomboy at her age, wishing I was a boy, but she is a girlie girl and I like that we can share the love of fashion. my older daughter, on the other hand, only wears jeans and converse sneakers.

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  13. you really need to submit this post to a magazine ajc. so well written and more in-depth into the feelings behind our shopping than anything i've read in a real life magazine. i'm going to bookmark this for sure. as soon as i figure out how to bookmark something! ahhaha.

    ok, i not only agree with you but i agree with everyone who has commented so far. when i saw j crew talking about color stories i instantly thought of dani. dani is always on my brain now. i'm putting together a couple of weekend away summer outfits and all i can think of is color story!!!! i blame dani for this!

    i am new to j. crew and have only been in a real store maybe 4 times. i don't have many of their clothes at all but i certainly know what you are talking about. the few pieces i do own are v nice and i really love them. i find myself reaching for them over and over.

    everything you described about j. crew fulfilling needs in your life, i do with thriftshopping. i find it a harmless hobby. i love it to the point of finding myself dreaming of it. crAAzy. i find myself using j. crew for inspiration. and i've also found a few j. crew items while thrifting which has been a really great bonus. i need this kind of distraction in my life. sometimes life can get so intense at times that this kind of hobby is such a spot of joy for me. i know what you mean about sitting down with friends ready to share the excitement of a recent purchase and them looking at you like you are nuts. i've found that sharing my incredible (well i think they are incredible) finds with my blog friends extremely fun and rewarding. so sorry to ramble on like this. knowing me i'll prob be back to ramble some more. but anyway, what a great post. i'm working on one right now about the j. crew icon trench. i may be the last person on the planet to buy one but i'm still gonna talk about it. haha.

    xo
    janet

    ps - please consider taking off your comment verification, it would make commenting here so much easier!

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    1. Thanks Janet! I say thank heavens for blog friends to share the shopping/wardrobe obsession, I talk to myself enough as it is.
      I am so happy ajc started her own blog.

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    2. Janet, yes I don't think it matters where we shop, I never thrifted but went through ebay phase and I think the mechanism is the same, probably my clothing obsession would wane by now if it has not been for this community, but like I said before i consider it a gift, not hindrance.

      How do you turn off the comment verification? I looked into my settings but I do not see it...

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    3. you go to settings, then comments and then scroll down to word verification. that's where you click the box that you don't want it.

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    4. Thanks, Janet, I removed it! I did not see it at first because it turns out you have to switch to old blogger interface first. But it should be off now. I agree that it is very annoying especially on the phone.

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  14. Wow! What a well written post. You seem to know me to a tee. I buy tons, return lots, and keep too much, but I love it. I read blogs and reviews daily and do purchase based on them. I recently received flowers and my kids asked if they came from the UPS man.....

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    1. LOL mini! i give Christmas presents to my UPS bf, beer for him and cookies for his kids!

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    2. Oh, I am so glad the UPS men always change, therewas a time when I was getting boxes almost every day, for weeks, I am not kidding

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    3. mini - that is hysterical!

      ajc - I have also had the truck stop on my street daily at certain times. This past winter season I blame the waitlist issue with items from one order each shipping separately. The saddest (?) day was when the UPS truck came and had nothing for me. They were so used to stopping that they just assumed there was a delivery to make.

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  15. Fantastic post!! So well-written. Find myself nodding a lot of times as I read on. I have to admit I do check in the morning for popbacks even before I check my own emails. Think it's somewhat obsessive but I just want to know all my options.

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    1. I check JCA before anything else in the morning.

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  16. This was so well written and dead on for me. I can say yes to all of the above and I completely agree on the midlife crisis theory. I always thought I missed my calling in life, thought I should have gone into fashion because of the J Crew obsession. I am a material science engineer, a geek and work with almost all men. I try to deny everyday that I don't belong doing what I am doing, because I do not look like the "other" female engineers that I work with. Truth be told I am the biggest nerd out there!! I love what I do for a living and I think it's so cool to go to my son's school and hang out in the science lab with the kids and demo using microscopes and such. How many moms bring home graduated cylinders for their kids to practice measuring volume?? So you see J Crew taps my creative side as well. I am a fashionable nerd :) and I wouldn't change a thing.
    I just stumbled upon this blob over the holidays and I have to say it is wonderful. All of you ladies are women I would love to meet and have a girls night out with. Thank you for all of the great tips and support of the Crewlade!!!

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    1. Oh MB, this is so cool that you can share your passion with your kids! I also work mostly with men so I can relate, I get what you are saying about other women in the same profession, they are for the most part totally unconcerned with fashion. I did take some on shopping trips and I was happy to help but it is sure hard to style somebody else.
      Thank you!

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  17. Neato topic.
    I've been a JCrew fan for a loooong time. I remember when the only way I could get JCrew stuff was to wait for the print catalog then either call them toll-free & place an order or mail in my order along with a check on the little order form/envelope found in the catalog.
    I'm quite the minimalist so I find it easier and more comforting to shop only at 2 stores. That might sound restrictive & dull to everyone else - but my 2 stores are JCrew & Lilly Pulitzer. Thus those 2 compromise close to 98% of my total wardrobe. JCrew really can get me thru just about any clothing situation - from formal to work to couch casual to weekend chic to the beach. Toss in a few LP bits & pieces & there is simply no need for me to shop anywhere else.
    I don't have any desire to shop at Talbots, Nordstroms, Old Navy, Neimans, etc - I found what I like & look good in (JCrew & LP) so why muddle it all up with other stores stuff?

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    1. Jane, I think you are right, even if it seems strange because we may shop and obsess more that others yet we are minimalists for the same reasons.

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  18. You have summed up all of us so well, it seems. Though I am not a Crew fanatic - we didn't have a store in Canada until last year, and frankly I am (apparently) the only woman in the world who looks terrible in pencil skirts. But for years my wardrobe has been largely BR because the fit and the aesthetic suit me well, and my pattern of shop/return/keep has been every bit as focused as any JCA. I agree with Dani above about Holt Renfrew being uninspiring right now, and when everything is made in China anyway, why spend more than you have to?
    And yes, I'm an overachieving perfectionist as well. Not to mention a teacher who is deathly afraid of actually looking like a teacher, if you know what I mean.

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    1. I used to shop a lot at BR. I still have about 20 button downs from them, I loved them so! Also I prefer their trench coat to J.Crew Icon, and know it has been a favorite of many JCAs. Also BR pants fit me better than J.Crew but I don't buy pants so much these days.
      I get the teacher part. But I have to tell you, my husband used to teach and his friends (that became OUR friends) are the most interesting, fun people I ever met. I was very surprised at that at first, but I see the same thing here, so many teachers and so many fascinating women, it is amazing.

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  19. Wow, now that's what I call nailing it!!! You got it sister, everything is right on!

    I stop on occasion and analyze why I am like I am but have finally concluded it is my hobby, outlet, interest, everything you described perfectly in your post!

    Just drank a cup of coffee so my happy level is way up there..I feel like I want to reach through this screen and hug you because you understand! Yay, someone really understands! Mwah! Have a beautiful weekend!

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    1. JustVisiting, thank you!!! I also want to hug all of you for being here and I really wish we could have a chat in person, that would be so much fun...

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  20. Just another cheer for your perceptive and thoughtful piece. You explained me to me really well. I've been trying to dial it back several notches, trying to combine favorites in different ways. Your post will help enormously. Some very interesting women write and style for these blogs, and I'm happy to be able to run away to them from time to time. Okay. Too often.

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    1. I totally agree, I am constantly amazed by all the amazing women bloggers out there and I am very thankful for meeting all of you, it makes me think the world is a better place full of interesting people...

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  21. This topic comes up time and again and frankly, I feel like I am on the outside looking in. I buy and return online purchases because I can't try them on in-store but I don't return out of regret or remorse, it's because the item simply did not work IRL. Of all the items I was able to try on and purchase in stores last year, I only returned 1 item.

    I plan my wardrobe meticulously and J.Crew is only a small part of it. It gets more space on my blog because J.Crew posts are the most popular by a good margin, at least for now. The reviews in particular get the most hits and I like to think they are helpful so I'll keep doing them.

    I don't stalk the website, don't move money or hide boxes or clothes. I do recognize one of the strategies J.Crew uses to get people hooked and it is extremely effective. I don't work in retail per se, at least not what most people would think of as retail but I do have experience with the psychology of marketing and brand loyalty in particular.

    Knowing the strategy helps me avoid some of the lure. My critical nature helps too and I privately pan far more than I pick but keep it to myself because we all know those comments are not very welcome. Seeing the decline in quality deters me as well. No matter how lovely, if it's looking shoddy brand new then I'm not buying it, whatever the price. Lately J.Crew quality has been quite terrible in all but a few areas and my list of "do not buy" is getting longer. As always, I buy most of my clothes and accessories elsewhere.

    For me it is much more fun to be part of the community. I could give up J.Crew tomorrow but I could not give up the blogosphere.

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    1. XOXO, I hope you keep doing the reviews because I love your attention to detail and how well things are made. I also like how you bring in other brands and it's not all jcrew all the time. Thanks to you I have discovered some new brands to love.

      I'm on the fringes here too and that's where I plan to stay. I enjoy the blogs but jcrew obsession is not in my DNA.

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    2. xoxo, every club needs a voice of reason, and I am so glad you are with us. I think in many cases it is a question of what you are comfortable with. for example I have 6 or 7 double serge pencil skirts and I am worrying that this is excessive, you have 5 purple ones alone and you are totally comfortable with, lol. And also, it is about how much we cross examine ourselves, I am very comfortable with constantly analyzing and scrutinazing why I do whatever I do...
      I do buy plenty of other brands too and there are certain areas where I think I can do better for the money somewhere else, like shoes and bags for example.
      And I tend to agree with you that the community is probably the most important aspect of this obsession.

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    3. I don't know that I'm the voice of reason, I'm really just saying that I'm not so obsessed with J.Crew to exhibit the behaviors listed in your post.

      It's true, I have 5 purple pencil skirts (4 J.Crew double-serge and 1 Boden tweed) and would likely buy yet another in a new shade of purple because purple is my favorite color and also, I wear a pencil skirt to work almost every single day! If I didn't wear these every day then sure, I probably wouldn't feel a need for so many. And living in Canada I can wear wool pencils from September - June, which is great value for the money, even at full price. No stalking, no buy/return, no "sale watch", no obsessing. Just buy, wear and enjoy. KWIM, does that make sense?

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  22. Wonderful post!

    I'm guilty of being addicted to J Crew too. I have my spending under control, but I should still cut it down and spend the money on more meaningful things. I don't remember what life was like before there was online shopping, in particular J Crew online shopping. It would be great if I could stopping check their website every day!

    One thing that draws me to J Crew is their models and the way they style them: they never look like working women to me. They always look like they are ready to go to the beach. And since I have an office job, maybe that's what attracts me?

    As for the idea of a "dream" wardrobe, and that last piece that will complete it, we all know that such a thing doesn't exist. The fashion industry and J Crew are too clever and they always come up with new things that we will want season after season. To stop being addicted we have work on ourselves.

    Really enjoyed reading your post. Thank you!

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    1. Hi Greta, J.Crew is very good with styling their clothes, I agree that this is big part of the appeal for sure.

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  23. My my, you have certainly hit a nerve here! I'm with xoxo - it's about the community and the knowledge that there are Others out there with the same interests in style. I hate talking about fashion/style/shopping with some friends as it can feel shallow, but the blogosphere lets me connect with women who think aesthetics and design are significant aspects of our personal and cultural lives. I teach design, so I am perhaps super-focused on this area, but I too want to feel like I could be "ready to go to the beach" on a moment's notice.
    Our fantasies are such signifiers.

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    1. 'connect with women who think aesthetics and design are significant aspects of our personal and cultural lives' huge yes to this cagliari67

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  24. Wonderful post, your best as of yet! I could answer yes to most, I have never got up to check for replenishments and I never will , but only because I value my sleep to much. lol
    I actually prefer more high end brands but just can not afford them unless the are major markdowns, LOVE Valentino for Fall. My addiction to shopping was always to shoes, handbags and fine jewelry until I had my daughter. Then I become obsessed with boutique children's clothing oilily, bonpoint, Dior etc... I have just in the last year really gotten into buying clothing for myself, but I have been having so much fun doing it

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    1. thanks simplydreaming! OMG, the childrens clothing, that was another one for me, I went through Hanna Andersson, Oilily, Mini Boden and such. Only after I spent insane amount of money on Jottum I decided this is madness and I am trying to stick with Crewcuts and GAP this year. I may do a post on children wear, seems like there is a lot of moms here, so it may be interesting, what do you think?

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  25. OMG, AJC I could have written this word for word! It describes me exactly. I have a tendency to get obsessive with something and research/explore until I've gotten everything out of it. And I only have one obsession going at a time. My clothing obsession has been my longest one yet! 2 years or so--so it's a relatively new one. It sounds like many of us have similar tendencies including a creative side. I've always been creative (drawing, papercrafts) but I enjoy creating outfits more than any other creative endeavor (probably why I love Polyvore so much!). I also feel like I'm in a "time crunch" because I'll be 40 this year and I'm so new to finding style! I feel like I missed out on so many years of when I could have looked cute! LOL Fortunately, I have my spending under control, so my "obsession/addiction" hasn't really hurt anything. And it's only under control b/c I've set it up so. I have a separate checking account that we've deposited my spending money into and that's what I pay my bills out of. When it's gone it's gone and I can't shop. I guess the only problem with my shopping obsession is the time it takes away from other things. I feel like I do fine, but know I could do more/better if I was spending less time thinking about outfits or what I'm going to buy next, or checking J Crew or playing on Polyvore or reading blogs. :) But part of me *enjoys* the creativity and beauty of all of it and I don't want to not have that in my life.

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    1. You are very smart to have a separate checking account for your spending. I do it too, but sometimes I get 'creative'. I identify with missing out on being cute when I was younger. I was very self conscious and deadly afraid of something too trendy or inappropriate. Now I think I should have enjoyed it more.

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  26. This is a fantastic post, and completely spot on. I am a J. Crew addict, have been for many years. I remember hoarding catalogs, because you could still search for items by item number on the website even if they were no longer actually listed online, and they would often show up with a steeply discounted price - great for a penniless graduate student!! At the time, J. Crew tapped into my desire to be fashionable, and well dressed in good quality clothing, but at an affordable price. I would say more than three quarters of my wardrobe is J. Crew and I don't see that changing. Since discovering the JCA community a few years ago, it has been so much fun 'meeting' like-minded people (i.e. people who are just as obsessed with J. Crew as I am, LOL!). Thanks for such a thoughtful and well-written post!

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    1. Louise, funny, i've done that too, sasving item numbers to check the website for rock bottom prices later on. Oh the things we do for love...
      Can you tell that i listen to a lot of cheesy music?

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  27. Thought of something else... :) I was thinking about whether this obsession is truly a "bad" thing when it's not harming relationships or creating debt. Is it bad for my mental health? Do I need to stop? Get help? Then I remembered about my Enneagram personality type. Are you familiar with it? One of the characteristics of my type, besides being creative, is to get obsessive with things I'm interested in. They say that can sometimes snowball into a true problem, but often it's just part of who we are--how our brains are wired. Maybe you or others like us are the way we are because of our personality types--not because it's due to some past traumatic experience or something. What I'm trying to say is that I think I will always find something to be obsessed with and until I feel like it's causing more harm than good or until a family member says it's causing a problem, I guess I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts! Thank you for writing this article, AJC!

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    1. Kittywitty (love your handle btw), i don't think it is necessarily bad, I agree this how we are wired (I have to look up Enneagram personality types).
      However, I do think it is a delicate balance between just dismissing the whole thing and worrying that we will soon end up in insane asylum. I hope that talking about it is just the thing to keeps us in control.
      I certainly don't want to scare anybody but also I don't want to 'enable' out of control spending behavior based on thinking that 'everybody is doing it' or 'I cannot help myself'.

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  28. You're right, ajc...we shouldn't just dismiss it as "This is just who I am so oh well!" The fact that I feel quite a bit of guilt and sometimes anxiety over it should be a clue that something's not quite right. How do you know when you've achieved the right balance? When there's no anxiety? Funny thing is I'm on the verge of launching a blog to join the rest of the JCA community and I keep hesitating because I know this will be one more instance of time I'm spending on my obsession and I wonder if it will make it "worse." But I keep going back to the idea that I have a relatively small window of time to indulge in this interest and I don't want to look back and regret not doing it. *sigh* Thanks again for the conversation! :)

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  30. I love your honesty (deleted previous post because I meant it to go on your post about the frances bump dress :) I'm in the 40-50something category, also a mom struggling with everything with young kids and job. I like to look better now than I did in my 20's and 30's, I don't really like shopping, and I discovered that JCrew clothes almost always fit me super well. But I have a weak spot for dresses, and I rarely wear dresses, and this year I'm trying to not buy so many dresses unless I actually wear them! I definitely spend too much time looking at blogs and reviews and polyvore -- at the same time, they give me ideas and help me NOT buy more.

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