I am not usually into self help genre and most of the time I find those books preachy and annoying but as I flipped through the pages, I came across some passages that got my attention. One was when Gretchen describes how her husband made seemingly innocent remark about her snoring at night and how that provoked the out of proportion reaction from her. You see, apparently I also snore (although I am in denial about it) and when my hubby joked about it, it annoyed me beyond belief. It just seems like such an unsexy trait. I could totally understand how Gretchen quickly blurted out something unpleasant in response.
But the section that made me purchase the book was when she realizes that she is a Gold Star Seeker. She describes how they were mailing out the greeting cards to friends and family and how her husband did not want to participate in sealing and stuffing of the envelopes. She had designed the cards and took pictures of the kids and put a lot of energy into it. But aside from help, she realized, that what she wanted the most, was her husband acknowledging what a wonderful job she did and how great the cards came out.
This is me, I thought. I am happy to do the work, as long as somebody notices and acknowledge it. I guess, in many ways it is only natural and maybe obvious but it was a aha moment for me. Gretchen then proceeds with trying to change her thought process to be more in the lines of 'I want to do it for me. I wanted the cards to look great and this should give me enough satisfaction'.
When I read that chapter I realized that even blogging is part of it. I always liked fashion and putting together outfits and many times I received compliments from coworkers and strangers alike, but posting an outfit definitely gives me a chance to get an instant reaction, especially that it is coming from people that also care about fashion and styling. But in fact, this may apply to blogging about anything, since it is a format that usually invites comments and feedback and provides you with statistics on pageviews.
Here is where I am trying to change my mindset, thinking that whether writing a post like this one, styling an OOTD or writing a review, it is just something I wanted to share and not to focus on how many pageviews it generates, how many followers I get and how much praise I get in comments. This is not to say that I don't value what my readers think, of course I do! I just try to focus on 'I am doing it because I like it' part.
I also try to keep that in mind in my relationships and domestic and professional life. When I cook a good dinner or throw a great party I should be happy because I wanted it to turn out well. Any praise from others is just the icing on the cake.
Although... I do like the icing.
Wearing Academy Blazer by Madewell (review here), Doily Lace skirt by Anthropologie (review here), Pia top (review here) by Banana Republic, J.Crew Nottingham boots (old) and Kate Spade purse.
That's all folks!
Have you read 'Happiness Project'?
Are you a 'gold star seeker'?
Do you think blogging feeds the beast?
Please share, it would be no fun without you!!!