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| Shhhhh! |
Warning: this post contains
mature content. You may want to skip it if you are under 40.
Of course, I am (almost) kidding :)
***
One day, my
daughter came from school and said:
"You are the oldest mom in my
class!"
Hmmm. I am 44. She is 9. It may be true.
"Well,
honey", I said, trying to keep my cool, "it is quite possible, but many
mothers must be close to my age".
"Nope" she said. Kids are cruel
like that. "Emily's Mom is 32 and Julia's mom is 29, Amy's mom is 35,
and all the others are in their 30's or 20's".
That
stopped me in my tracks. 20's???
OK, so I know it is
none of my business, but it just did not seem to add up. Shoot me but I
googled few of them. Wouldn't you? Sure enough, they are all in their
40s! (we do breed late in this area, I tell you).
Needless
to say, I couldn't say anything in my defense however tempted I was.
Darn it! The last thing I need is my daughter confronting her friends
with "My mom checked it on the internet and your mom (the one supposedly
32) is really 49!"
Now, my daughter loves her numbers
and knows exactly how old everybody in the family is, how much older
than another person, what year they were born, etc (OCD anyone?) . Maybe
other kids just don't know their mom's ages? Surely their mothers are
not lying to them?
Also, I know that when I was
younger, I always remembered exactly how old I was. Somehow, I am not so
aware of it anymore. I was recently filling up a form at the doctor's
office (so indiscreet, all those questions about your age and weight)
and I had to literally stop and think, to calculate my age. I was
shocked with the result. Seriously, I remember how I was always the
youngest person in the office. Until one day, I think I came back from
long maternity leave and I realized I am the oldest. Huh? How did it
happen???
So maybe they just forgot?
Then
I remembered another incident.
I was driving in the
car with my daughter, my BFF and her two kids, who are roughly the same
age as my younger daughter. Mind you, I met my BFF in college and she is
one year older than me. '9 months', she always corrects me. The
question of age came up again.
"How old are you, mom?"
asked my friend's older daughter innocently.
"35" answered my BFF,
winking at me.
"My mom is 43!!!" exclaimed my offspring earnestly
(this was last year).
"Wow, your mom is soooo much older than our
mom!" cried both girls with satisfaction.
"Thanks" I almost
murdered my friend with my look. She shifted a little uncomfortably in
her seat.
There you go, I am the oldest mom.
* * *
Do you ever lie about
your age? Well, how about just letting people think you are younger?
I
do it sometimes. For example, I have a 23 year old daughter and, of
course, every time this tidbit of information comes out, I can almost
hear the calculator turning on, in my interlocutor's head. So
conveniently, I just don't mention it. Hopefully, if I play my cards
right, they will think she is my husband's daughter from previous
marriage.
Unfortunately, this clever scheme collapses
because I forget to tell my dear hubby about his prior nuptials. "Your
daughter is already 9? But you look so young!" my coworker compliments
me at the Holiday party. I beam quickly. "Oh, we also have a
23-year-old!" my unconcerned-about-his-age spouse proudly volunteers. I
feel seriously betrayed, as the coworker turns to me, inspecting my face
for wrinkles.
* * *
How
comfortable are you with sharing your age? Is is any different IRL than
on the internet? Do you think there is a breaking point when it becomes
an issue. Is 40 the magic number?
Please
share, it wouldn't be any fun without you!
